Silent Sunday

Vacation Fun...

Happy Birthday Jay!

To my little man,

4 years ago today I was headed to the doctor for a check up after an ultrasound that was measuring you at over 10 pounds. I was still 9 days to my due date and was tired of being pregnant and anxious to meet you, though you seemed pretty content to be hanging out inside me kicking me and moving round quite frequently just to let me know you were still there. :)

It was decided that I would go to be induced because a scheduled c-section could not be done for another week and I refused to be miserable that long. When we got to the hospital we were pleasantly surprised that the doctor was willing to do a c-section.

So, approximately 4 hours later, we got to meet you. Here is my first view of you after you were born:



You looked bigger than you actually were, you only weighed 8 pound 14 oz. You were such a handsome little thing and with your addition our family was complete.

Now you are turning four and you amaze me every day. You are a smart, delightful, funny and sometimes crabby boy, but I wouldn't change you for the world. You are very literal minded and very interested in how things work. I joke that you have OCD tendencies (a joke only a social work mama can make because she loves you so much, and she has been told she was like that a little as a child). You are interested in lots of boy things: trains, trucks, cars, tools, and everything else, but you still love to cuddle with me.

You know how to spell your name and Tommi's, you can pick out some letters (K is a favorite thanks to the Kmart commercials) and can write the letter J. You are great little brother and your sister loves you as you love her even as you tattle on each other.

You are healthy, though a little small for your age, but you are growing and that makes me happy in ways you don't realize. We survived a Gluten Free Diet for a year and tubes in your ears. What a champ you were to go through ear surgery, a colonoscopy, upper GI and countless blood draws. Whew, I am glad that it is over.

You are excited to start preschool in the fall and I am excited to continue to see you learn and grow and embrace the world. I love you Jay Bird. Happy Birthday. :)

Stuff...

So, here it is January 18, and I am writing my first post of the year. I could use the excuse that I am busy and stressed... but since my last post was in November, I am right on target for my blogging style...nonexistent.

What can I say though... it is 18 days into the new year and 2010 kind of sucks so far. Two major medical issues have happened with extended family members. I'll just do a rundown to catch up.

On Dec. 30, my father in law suffered a fall at work and now has what is termed a TBI (traumatic brain injury). He has lost most of his memory for people, places and things. He is home and able to do things like dress and feed himself. He can read and is accepting of what he is told for the most part, and little memories have come back. It is sad to see and have conversations with him sometimes... I just can't imagine the heartbreak that my mother in law felt when she walked into the ER and they had to tell him that she was his wife. He is in rehab though, and prognosis is good...and each day that passes brings more hope.

And 5 days ago, my 39 year old sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not many details are known yet, she is undergoing testing to find out exactly what type, stage and everything else that they need to know to begin treating it. It is aggressive and she has an 8 mm lump in her right breast. After the initial shock has worn off.. she has a great attitude about it.. no matter what has to happen in terms of treatment, "death is not an option". So they are finding out whatever they can that can be done, and putting everything in God's hands, as it should be.

So, prayers for my family and Jim's... it has left us all emotionally drained.

And, the normal stresses at work and all.... but that is nothing new.

On a positive note, I bought some material to make myself something... I will post about the details later.

I am going to make Jim a gift for his birthday... he has been complaining that I have not made him anything.

T got all her spelling words right last week. Yay!

J has been doing well sleeping in his bed all night..(hope I didn't just jinx it....)

And, I actually participated in one of the Smartypants Quizzes on The Pioneer Woman and am hoping that I am eligible to win one of the Amazon giftcards ... there are a ton of books that I want. I have been following her blog for a while and decided to try a quiz. I hope I got the answers right.. there were quite a few that I actually knew.

It's back to work tomorrow for me... my vacation in February can't come quick enough.

Highs and Lows

It has been such a busy week and since I am not the greatest blogger, I failed to even write about what all was going on. So I guess a rundown is in order....

Highs
1. Jim and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on Tuesday the 1st of September. It is hard to believe that we have been married 8 years.. it has gone by so fast. Come October, we will have been together 16 years. There have been ups and downs, but that happens in any relationship. I consider myself very blessed to be married to the love of my life.
2. After posting the above on Facebook I had lots of well wishes of course... but the best was from my Mother-In-Law who posted that 8 years ago she gained a wonderful Daughter-In-Law. She is the best MIL anyone could have.
3. I closed a case for a client who was turning 18 this week... she started with me 5 years ago and went from an actively suicidal, depressed cutter to a lovely young woman, who has goals and visions for her future. It was the very first case that I ever have worked with exclusively that has been successful. I wish her the best of luck for her future.
4. Jim received a promotion at work that he has been working toward for quite a long time, he is now the branch manager of the Redford Location of the Harry J. Will Funeral Home. I am so proud of him.

Lows
1. Some sleep issues with Jay this week, some nights getting him to go to bed is a struggle. Once he is asleep is it not so bad, he generally sleeps all night unless he has night terrors.
2. Money issues as always.... it sucks to be barely making it some weeks.... hopefully Jim's raise will help ease that a bit.... and allow us to save a little.
3. Work is crazy busy as always lately.... and they keep adding more stuff for us to do. I seem to be always behind and it is stressing me out.

But all in all, it has been a great week. :)

I need sleep.

Sleep. An elusive word to me right now. I covet it, I try my best to get it, if I don't I feel like crap. Lack of it truly is affecting me. And yet night after night I don't get enough rest.

Ugh, I wish I cold blame the issue on insomnia. At least it would be something to blame besides the kids. Cause I don't want to put blame on them...they are kids it's not really their fault (in fact I am pretty damn sure it is my fault somewhere along the line) but night after night at least one, or the other or both constantly wake up. Usually it's T. Tonight it's been both.

I don't know what to do anymore. I have been trying so many things... short of ignoring, especially when T gets up, because I just can't, otherwise she will wake Jim and J up. Yet, I know that she constantly calls out or gets up because she knows I will come to her. See the catch 22 there? I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

And it is basically for nothing. Bad dreams or needing a drink? Fine. I can deal with that. Sick? I am very understanding of that. There are times I go into her room and ask what is wrong and I get silence. Or "I want you". Nothing else. So then I get frustrated, and sometimes I get short with her (but only after the 6th or 7th time I have had to get up). And then if another member of the family gets woken up and listens then I get accused of being mean. And, he'd be right...I can get nasty. Nothing inappropriate of course but sometimes I really have to well...threaten to get her to stop calling me, crying, getting up, etc. in order for her to go back to sleep. It is taking all my energy to stay calm.

As I write this I am sitting on J's floor dealing with him. He has night terrors and talks in his sleep. I think he has even dome some sleepwalking a few times. He gets it from me (I once jumped down a flight of stairs in my sleep and landed upright...I am surprised my mother didn't have a heart attack on the spot). I am much more patient with this as there is a reason and I know that it will get outgrown. But that is not fair to T. Poor girl.

I'm lost, tired, fed up, and about ready to give up. I don't know what to do. I wish someone could help me. I haven't found advice yet that has really worked. I figure that maybe they both will start sleeping better by the time that they go to college, right? And I am not going to even get started on the problems getting J to actually go to sleep at night..... The problems are my fault anyways so I guess I will just have to live with it.

They are so cute when they are sleeping though.

Work in Progress....

Got lots of things on my plate right now... but it is mainly work that is increasingly stressful. This is T's last week of school... I can't believe her Kindergarten year is almost over. I am working on a couple of tote bags for her teacher and her SLP... I have them cut (well...almost, I need to cut the straps tonight). and I will start sewing them tonight. They shouldn't take long.

I have some UFO's that I need to work on over the course of this week and a baby gift I need to cut out and start. I also have a post I am working on about my sewing machine... I just need to get a pic of my machine for it.

Tomorrow is Jay's 3rd birthday and I want to set up a post for that... including a pic of the shirt and cake I made him for his party.

Busy, busy, busy...that is me these days...

The skirts are finished finally....

I made the skirts for T and two of my niece's using the tutorial here at Grand Revival Designs... sew easy to make. I enlarged the numbers a bit... about an inch for length and width to fit my daughter and her cousin that is the same age. I made it a bit smaller for my other niece. They fit great. I have a pic of T wearing hers (she is the best model anyone could have)... they all wore them yesterday and the two older girls got lots of comments at school.

Here is a pic close up of the material. I love the pink with the green dots... I just love dots.


Now on to a new project.... working on an ironing board cover using this tutorial.

Happy Birthday Tommi!

Where does the time go? They grow so fast... it is hard to believe that T turned 6 today.

Her going home pic:


Today:

Woes of a Real Tree....

So, this is our first time with a real tree for Christmas. I know that as a kid, I had one a time or two...but Jim has never had one. So, when our artificial basically died last year we threw it out and decided this year we would get a real one.

I think in retrospect...we should have done a tiny bit of research before hand. I didn't really worry too much, new we needed a stand...but two of my sisters' have been getting real trees for quite some time now and I never heard of them having any major problems. (at least that they told us)

So, family Christmas Tree day was scheduled for last Saturday and we all went....even with some drama before hand ended up having a decent time...though my nephew and his wife did not end up coming to dinner (but that is a long story and one I don't really want to tell.....). Jim and I found a really nice douglas fir and were really excited to set it up and decorate it yesterday with the kids...

I found what I thought was a nice stand.... and it is, but I think it is too small for the tree. Our tree is bigger than we thought and I think that is a HUGE part of the issue. We set it up and got it partially decorated....and it fell. While we were eating dinner. And we lost a couple of ornaments... one that Jim's grandparents bought T for her first Christmas. Sucks...but it happens. So Jim calls my sister and borrows her tree stand.... nice one that you can swivel around and then lock into place when you find the side you want..... bigger stand... we think we are good. So we get it all set up and the tree is almost completely decorated.... and..... it falls. And this time we lose a few cheap ornaments...no biggie...and Jim's orange hunting ornament.... that is a big deal to him and can't really be replaced. :( That, I am sad about for him....

So, we are trying to keep Jay out of the living room because of the glass, T thankfully went back into our room cause I had the TV on and crawled into our bed to watch while we were dealing with the tree (and believe me.... she got LOTS of praise for that choice!) And as I was standing holding the tree from falling, Jim called friends for help and we took all the ornaments and lights off.

With help, the tree is back in the stand I bought....screwed in as far as it can go and we now have fishing line tied from the top to the metal top to the blinds...just to steady it. It is decorated and stayed up all night....and we are hoping it stays that way until at least Christmas Day. And the day after Christmas..... all the ornaments are getting put away by the kids and I and you can bet the first time we can get shopping... Jim and I are going to be looking for a great deal on an artificial tree.... as well as a tree stand for my sister to replace the one we broke.

Ugh.

New Park!

So, we have a new park in our city, a boundless playground. That means that anyone, regardless of their ability can enjoy most if not all of the playground equipment. (you can even access the structure if you are in a wheelchair) :) We have more parks here than the surrounding cities do. Two within a block from our house and the elementary school 5 houses away. But this new park is really cool...it's got some neat features that non of the other parks do. I've taken the kids a few times, and thought I would post some pics from the day we took their cousins to play. It's the kids favorite park right now..and mine too.

Tommi and her cousin Andrea


The Gang

Stephen and Andrea

Jay

Tommi